One of the most wonderful connections I made at the Society of Southwestern Author’s conference Wrangling with Writing was with a 94-year-old poet by the name of Cassius Sargent. When he recited one of his poems, I found myself laughing; without a hint of embarrassment he told me how he made quite a reputation for himself by roasting politicians. He had been a stand-up comedian and learned that craft by being repeatedly gonged-off the Gong Show. Cassius recently published a collection of his poems under the name GROWNUP’S MOTHER GOOSE. The little book is well worth a call and the price of 6 for $24.00, gifts for “friends, enemies and kin.” “GROWNUP’S MOTHER GOOSE A chuckle factory AIMED AT WHERE YOU LIVE. HELP WANTED Several hundred unpublished poems on hand Constantly writing more.” Cassius Sargent Cell (520-861-4506) Email: firstname.lastname@example.org .
Harvey Stanbrough, Poet, Author, Freelance Editor, Pulitzer Prize and Frankfurt Award Nominee praised Caassius’ work in this way: “the collection of 149 smart, witty poems is one of the best I’ve seen for invoking laughter through the pun, masterfully interwoven with bits of wisdom. In this collection, common sense is the common theme. It sneaks up on us, surreptitiously tweaking our politically correct conscience, poking fun at our own sense of self-importance, and reminding us to not take ourselves so seriously. This book makes it fun to be human.” Cassius looks at himself in this way: “many modern poets would not be found dead in the same block with Cassius. His writings are not easily misunderstood. This book should make most readers chuckle, laugh or think, or it may irritate some. The verse below expressed the spirit in which it was written. Poetic License covers many sins.”
Levity and brevity
Are very much akin.
The fewer words to get it said,
The Sooner sinks it in.
Here are three examples of Cassius’ poems, reproduced here with the poets permission.
To help higher education
Just a tiny little bit
Here’s a mini-dissertation
On the subject of Bullshit.
Bullshit’s almost all pervasive.
It creates an awful stink,
But it also reeks of virtues,
If one only stops to think
Bullshit’s odd, unique, peculiar
For its rottenmost is fine,
And its fake and artificial
Are most truly genuine.
Politicians have to use it.
It is basic in concept
Even Truth, unmixed with Bullshit,
Is a thing folks won’t accept.
Historically, them as has, gets
What’s-more-ically, Have-Nots have debts.
Financially, let’s face that fact,
Substantially, the deck is stacked.
Potentially, you won’t get rich,
Essentially, without an itch.
For actually an itch to scratch
Eventually makes fortunes hatch.
Persistently, you need to hoard
Consistently, until you’ve scored.
There are reasons you should hate your
Congress with it’s crooked nature.
They’re so far gone and out of hand,
Beyond Alice in Wonderland.
With Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, the tale
Unfolds, and Congress was for sale.
Thank you Cassius. Keep up. You’re only 94. We can all use some of your medicine. Randy Ford