A SUGGESTION FOR TWO IRISH GOVERNMENT MINISTERS
By Mattie Lennon
A suggestion for James Reilly and for Alan Shatter too.
If you will just bear with me I’ll spell it out to you.
‘Twill boost our ill economy like nothing did before.
You simply make a little switch and then you do no more
You take the prisoners from Mountjoy, Wheatfield and Castlerea.
And put them in the old-folks homes; for their crimes there let them pay.
They’ll get cold food (some time of day), that’s if they’re fed at all.
If they call for help the attitude, is, “let them shout an’ bawl.”
They‘d seldom get a shower, they’d have to live with grime
If they want a dirty protest sure they’d have it all the time.
The second part is better; a plan that couldn’t fail
Collect the senior citizens and put them all in jail
It’s there they would be happy, each with their private cell
And checked on several times an hour to make sure that they were well.
With all their needs and little wants looked after by a guard
And those who wanted exercise could jog around the yard.
A library and a workshop where they could read or paint
And a Board of paid directors to deal with each complaint.
Doctors, Priests and Nurses will be at their beck and call,
Any shortfall in prescriptions would be lobbed across the wall.
Although my proposition might be met with sneers and grins
I don’t expect objections (not even from the Quinns.)
So Ministers if you’re listening to this advice from me
Dismiss your well paid mentors; I’ll council you for free.