Randy-Itching to write but with nothing to say

My desire to write today didn’t get me very far.   It might’ve gone better had I not had so many others things I wanted to do, less important perhaps but more pressing than writing.   There were things involving my wife and things outside my home…a battle with ants, a blown opportunity, a bicycle ride, telephone calls to this and that person.

First thing this morning I worked through a chapter I had been rewriting this week.   This kind of work at my computer involved moving text around and cutting where ever I could, but I don’t have to think as much as when I’m starting something new.   And it didn’t satisfy my desire to write. Therefore, for most of the rest of the day, I kept saying to myself “I must write; I must write.”   Must?  I have to write; I wanted to be left alone; I thought of several things I wanted to write about; but when it came down to it with only a little over an hour left, none of these ideas jelled and I was left with three false starts.

I still wanted to write.   Only now I was very much aware of the pressure I had put on myself.   I had wasted all day, was late for a five o’clock date…at that point I didn’t know for sure if I would ever get back to my computer alive; life is that uncertain.   We all know that.   My idea of a good day hadn’t materialized…as a dedicated writer and a very involved one at that.   Good thing I was going to meet another writer and could perhaps expect a little sympathy.   No, I didn’t expect to have a one-on-one with Faulkner, Grass, or Wolfe, though Wolfe with his “booos”, his “yos”, and his dashes and dots might’ve helped more than the others.   Some times I could use a space-filler.   Yes, I could hear all three of them groan, as I even now look for inspiration.

My assessment of where I am now hasn’t increased my confidence.   My inability to come up with a suitable idea to write about has led me to simply write about something and, if I fail in my attempt to write about this inability, maybe there is someone out there who can tell me what I’m trying to say. And I only have one point, I think.   If I can trick myself into writing a page by focusing on my inability to write today, then, as a writer, what do I have to worry about?   Haven’t I said I can write about anything?   Regardless how I’m feeling about myself and my ability or inability to write my tricking myself should translate into my having a good day,

Randy Ford

1 Comment

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One response to “Randy-Itching to write but with nothing to say

  1. Next day: 5:45 a.m. and itching to write. Forward progress. Looking at a new chapter this morning. A doctor’s appointment, Pt, and a drive across town. How about eating? It’ll have to be thrown in there somewhere. We’ll see what kind of day it will be. Randy

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